Monday, April 23, 2012

Jane Doe and the thrill of the chase

I was talking to a lady recently, we'll just call her..."Jane."  Jane is a divorced Mother of three.  At a young age, after realizing that her brand new husband was an abusive alcoholic, she knew she had made a mistake...and after enduring it for a decade - they untied the knot.

She shared with me her deep, deep need for comfort and human connection and how she had been online dating for years to try and fill the void.  The men she's dated through the years have been able to superficially tranquilize her loneliness for a time...but the pain always seems to resurface.  These men, because of their own pain from the past, say that they are never able to commit to someone again, and she is left...again....with the sting of loneliness.

It broke my heart to hear her story, and though part of me wanted to shake her and tell her that she is worth more than this, I couldn't blame her for her desperation.  You see, Eve was always meant to be cherished....and, unfortunately, I guess that dwindled after the incident with the apple...

When Adam was alone with God in the perfection...God still saw something lacking and said that it was not good for the Man to be alone.  That is an interesting thought.....Really, God?  It's not good for Man to be alone when he is literally walking with the Creator in paradise!!?? How lonely could he be in this scene? But the Creative One had something in the works...
Wow, this Eve character must be something pretty special then, huh ;-)

In a lot of Christian environments, I have heard the phrase, "just go to God," as an answer to all issues of loneliness, despair, confusion....etc. God could have said to Adam that he should just be fully satisfied only in Him, but instead....He said that it wasn't good for him to be alone.  So, if it wasn't God's prescription for Adam while he was still with Eden....then why is, "just go to God," our answer now, when we are not even physically with Him....and have fallen from Eden? Shouldn't it be even worse for us to be alone here....lacking both the physical God and an Adam?

You see, we were made to need human connection.  This doesn't fulfill our need for God- and while He is a bridegroom God, He doesn't physically come down and marry every this is where Adam comes in.  God didn't give Eve to Adam after the make up for some sort of lacking because of sin....He made her as a gift....while human-kind was still....without sin.

While I believe, "Going to God" is obviously a good thing, :-) it is not the only thing.  This is offensive, I know.  Because we want to believe that God, alone,  fulfills our every desire...and He does, but it was right and good for Him to fulfill part of Adam's desire with Eve...and vice versa.  We don't have to feel guilty about our need for deep human connection...after all it was His design. "Jane" doesn't have to feel guilty about her need for an Adam...for in God's design, she is to be cherished by him.

I wonder...
Is it just the thrill of the chase that makes the hunter enjoy the sport?  Isn't it the find that is most rewarding?  I mean, if you are a hunter, but you never catch any are really just a wanderer in the woods with a weapon; if you are a fisherman, but you never catch anything, then really, you are just in the business of hooking worms to a string and holding them in a body of water...
Is my point coming across?  My point is: what is the point?  Why do we go after what is fleeting?  Why are we afraid to commit to what is lasting?  I know, with time, our culture has become less attracted to the idea of marriage- but that is to be expected, right?  I mean, we've been going downhill since that moment of giving into temptation in the garden...
But I believe that, in the heart of mankind, there still lies a pure desire for the find and not merely for the thrill of the chase.  After all, Adam didn't even have to chase.  He just woke up...and bam! there she was...."bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh." (Gen 2:23)

Here is a video that my friend found on Youtube called, "What Christian singles hear"....Humorous....but SO true!

Much Love. 


  1. "I know people who've gotten married in their're fine!" Ha ha ha!!!! That was sooooo funny.
    Great blog, Julie. I heartily agree with you.