At times, I wanna be somewhere else.... but I'm here. I'm glad to be here, don't get me wrong.....I feel gratefulness inside just bursting to break free like steam from a whistling teapot. The past few years have seemed to be overrun with potholes that continue to pop my tires just when I've seemed to manage a steady pace.... but lately I've been able to dodge them and I'm finding rest in enjoying the ride. I'm able to lift my eyes from the road a bit to feel the wind on my face and the warmth of the sun.
I am fond of this little nook I've found lately- the season... the stillness inside.
....but I've also just got this urge to SPRINT!
Okay, so let me explain something: sometimes I get the urge to actually do a literal sprint.... yea, like I get overwhelmed with the desire for a mad dash.... and I do it! It usually happens to me when I'm by myself....(bahaha- thank God!).... because how weird is the random sprinting girl, right!?
No, no.. I'm not sure if you get it?
Like I'll be walking all normal and then... BOOM! A Nike-style, "just do it," full-on SPRINT takes over! There is probably some theoretical explanation for this in the American Psychological Association's Manual of disorders, but for now, I shall be content with labeling it a "quirk" of my very own :-) It doesn't carry with it the benefits of normal sprinting... like I can't term myself, "a runner".... I don't do this often enough for my quadriceps to be out-of-this-world muscular.... I don't have scheduled "sprint times," that I faithfully carry out every morning at 6 a.m. after I've made breakfast, read the paper, and fed the (imaginary) dog in one big swoop of productive charm (insert smile... and a tooth sparkle). I don't foresee myself living out dreams of sprinting beside beautiful brown people from Africa as they take the gold every four years. No, this thing is not like a "cool quirk" or a "productive" one. Some people try and pretend that their ability to be unbelievably self-disciplined is like some sort of "weird quirk" about them! Please. Ya know, like those people who say they have this "weird thing" where they "just have to" like... floss their teeth everyday... you know those people?... the ones who act like its not the dream of everyone else in the world to have a so-called quirk that turns out to be so very useful and purposeful. Yea, I'm not one who has all them "type A" quirks that make me ridiculously awesome at life.... I'm more of a "type B" kinda gal who needs to get her quirky sprint on at unpredictable times. It's cool though... I'm embracing it. I mean, I'm tellin' you about it right now aren't I? Ain't no shame in this game.
I wonder what God thinks about this sprinting deal. See, I haven't shared this one important detail concerning the sprinting... it is usually inspired by some exciting thought or grateful praise on the inside that's just gotta come out... sorta like kids rushing down the stairs on Christmas morning in pj's as they anticipate their desired gift under the tree. Its that kind of feeling that takes over. So yea, this is way cute when a 5-year old is excited about his new G.I. Joe action figure.... but it's "inappropriate" for a 28 year old girl to get THAT overcome with an emotion that she just HAS TO, "sprint it out" for a sec!
Ya know something, though? I think He likes these things that are done in the secret, silly place. My name means "childlike/youthful" and I know that spark is in me somewhere.... it was woven into my design and so He must enjoy it! He must be goin, "go ahead and sprint girl!" I've believed lies that have held me back a lot in the past and I'm ready for permission to SPRINT forward into a freer more faith-filled future.
When I first became a believer, I had this sweet anticipation brewing on the inside... it was clear and unadulterated by the bitterness and unbelief that can come with the bruises and burns from the struggle we're strugglin'. I remember hearing the simple truths of the Gospel and wanting to RUN full-speed into an abandoned life, believing this lovely Jesus at His Word, and leaving everything behind to surrender to His leading. It ain't been roses though.... shoot... its been a bit more like prickler bushes... but I've learned that joy always comes in the morning.... even the flowers testify as they open in brave faith to the new mercies that are waiting to be received. He's been encouraging me all along, I'm sure.... Its just been too noisy for me to hear Him...."go ahead and sprint girl"
I think I shall :-)
I'd like to propose a toast:
Here's to the scars of yesterday to remind us how far we've come.
Here's to the budding of future Springs, and to the Winters that make them so kind.
Here's to the hope deferred, sick heart.... and the longing-fulfilled that heals it.
Here's to the walk forward in faith, and the look backward in gratitude.
Here's to the One who is a friend that sticks closer than a brother... and the sprint until we meet Him face to face.
What's that you say? Oh, you're sad I haven't been blogging lately? Yes, truly sorry about that... I was in China....
Oh, what's that you say? Why was I in China? Well... there is this tall, white Chinese guy whose guitar I have.... its a long story :-)
Here's to that guy too...
With crazy love,