Thursday, February 14, 2013

Groud-breaking science: The Extreme Gene

This is not a scientific fact... yet, but I have this theory about a gene that is passed down which makes one go to the extreme scenario in their brain.  I have inherited such a gene.  I'm not sure from whom, but way back in my family history somewhere, I'm convinced that there is a witty, down-to-earth somebody who is like-able and chill on the outside.... while their brain marches to a techno beat of a drum in their head as they ponder the calamities that are at bay.... thanks a lot Great-great-great grand-somebody :-/

I think some of my brothers might have the gene too... but of course their gene is not infused with girl brain, and is therefore- not as intense.  My brother Jeff is seriously one of the funniest people on the face of the planet.... like a cross between Jim Carrey and Steve Carell or something.  His extreme gene is more subtle and seems to appear most often when he is half-asleep and though the stories make for a bounty of hearty laughs later- while they are happening, he is 100% serious in the moment- truly believing that what is happening in his head is actually occurring in real life.  One time when him and my sister-in-law Gentry were visiting, she was telling us about how his nighttime antics don't even phase her anymore.  She told us that the previous night,  Jeff woke up absolutely freaking out- throwing the blanket off the bed because it was definitely ON FIRE.  Gentry said that she sleepily explained that the blanket was, in fact, not in flames as she pulled it back on and dosed off.  Jeff also told us about one time when all of the oxygen had somehow been quickly leached from the bedroom and he was yelling for Gentry to follow him out to safety!  This one is a favorite of mine because I can just so easily imagine him gasping for breath as he is adamantly coercing his wife to TRUST HIM.... if she wants to get out of there alive..... TRUST HIM.  My brother Matt can tend to be a bit of a conspiracy theorist himself... and Andrew?  Well, I guess he is pretty normal... the most logical of us all- unless of course he is just hiding the evidence of the gene in his own life...hmmm
I promise, my brothers are not crazy... I'm just using their stories to prepare your palate for mine... well, and so I don't feel completely alone in my weirdness... 

****Aww... a pause to say Happy Valentine's day: I just glanced out the window and our neighbor's husband was putting a valentine in our mailbox (His wife usually sends him on errands delivering goodies to lucky neighbors such as ourselves)... aww I feel the love today in the 55+ ;-) ****

So I have lots of those half-asleep stories myself, but my gene shows itself while I'm fully awake... while my brain is at its peak, with strong capability of debunking such spiraling thoughts... yet they are so terribly difficult to shake. Its not like I walk around paranoid or anything- I don't think that the C.I.A. is out to get me or that aliens are trying to take over my body. I actually think that I, a lot of times, can have a lack of healthy fear.. and it can sometimes get me into dangerous situations... like getting lost in the woods at night with barely any battery left on my cell phone and no flash light... or venturing down my Mom's old street in Philly... which is now definitely a common hangout for those involved in drug trade or gang violence.

I'm telling you though, these thoughts happen, maybe once a day- they are nonsensical, and most certainly an outcome of the gene..."trust me" ;-)

Okay here's one:  So the other night, I was on the phone with a friend.  I was in bed and I had a little box fan running down by the bottom of my bed.  It started to make a funny noise, like something was stuck in it... my immediate thought?  Mouse Foot.  SERIOUSLY!? Yes.  The very first thought that entered my mind was that a mouse must have gotten its foot caught in my box fan.... clearly, the only explanation for a rickety sound in one's very old box fan.  I haven't even ever SEEN a mouse in this house... but this was no time for deductive reasoning or process of elimination!  This was serious!  First of all, how the heck am I going to get this mouse's foot out of my box fan without him biting me and giving me rabies... and second of all, how can I sleep now, knowing that this mouse probably has a wife, kids, and other kinfolk roaming around somewhere within the walls :-/

Then there is that storm that occasionally comes along, whose thunder seems different from any old ordinary thunder, and I think, "oh man, this is it.... Jesus is returning." .... or a plane that is a lit-tle too loud as it flies over the house... is probably headed straight for my bedroom.  Hah, I know this is funny, but not funny.... and slightly irreverent- but I really do think these things- and I force myself to imagine that God just thinks its... endearing :-)

So I could ponder how much of it is nature (my extreme gene) and how much is nurture (just the crazy junk that's happened in my life)... and I'm not sure if the chicken or the egg came first...
Because yea, okaaaay, so soooooometimes I think my fan is making noise because a mouse's foot is stuck in it.... but this is not completely far fetched... I lived in a house by myself once where critters (we think Squirrels) took over the attic and ran around constantly chewing wires and making my lights go out.  And I remember, growing up in Georgia, that the thunder used to be so strong that it would sometimes shake the house (my brothers can attest to this?) so okaaaay maybe its not so crazy that I assume that, when it happens now, it must be the return of the Lord...

Wow... probably the weirdest Valentine's day blog you've read today....

Bringing you love and ground-breaking scientific theories,


  1. wow, my valentines dream just came true! Awesomeness!

    1. Glad to bring you sweet tart hearts and the crazy workings of my mind :-)