this isn't going to be clear. like a story or a tale. not like my usual blogging. I'm not even going to bother with correct punctuation....well maybe I will for some of it...when my pinkie feels like reaching over to the "shift" key...and when Reverence calls for it... and when autocorrect takes over :-)
these will just be ramblings. so at the risk of being misunderstood (yea so Mom...you might wanna skip this blog...I promise in the next...I won't be abstract...I'll maybe even throw in a chemistry equation...just for logical fun)....here we go.
I feel so tired. like a mess. but such peace too. strange how they can live together. peace and a mess....like an old married couple named Marge and Wilbur... (nice job with the shift key pinkie...way to look alive)
I guess its like calm in a storm. but the winds don't seem strong right now, and the boat isn't rocking. its more like after a storm. like when the water is murky and debris is scattered.
in this moment im astounded. baffled by this God. who dips His toes into the murky waters...and in a moment you can see to the bottom. wondrous.
im filled up with awe by the gallons. at His mysterious ways. how He likes to surprise us at the back door. He comes around back because He comes all the time....He's no stranger...so no need for the doorbell. i remember times when He seemed like a no-show. through the cycles of seasons. years even. what were You doing then? felt like you were in China or somewhere ....like the only way i could meet with You would be to start digging 'til I got to the other side of the globe. oh, is that just a myth?
i know You were near. because You don't lie. and You say You don't leave. maybe You were in the tree house out back...watching over....ever present. but i like You at the back door. i like You familiar. amaze me always ok? i guess i mean- take my blinders away...so i might stay amazed. soften my heart so i might be tender. noticing You in the breeze. watching You sway through tall grass. seeing you rustle the leaves. beholding You in another's eye. do away with this plank in my own....its really getting annoying. wash it away with tears. filter it out through the cross. that my eyes would be clean. clear of debris from the storm. from the ship that went down.
ever present. even when i thought of digging to China to find You. You would've just sat there and let me sweat wouldn't You? grinning down from the tree house out back. You got a sense of humor for sure. humor is in the clay.. and You are the Potter... where else would it come from? funny how we don't know You're funny... we don't even know "funny" I'm sure. we don't even really know the "good medicine" it is when You tell a joke. You probably cure cancer with a joke. You've got jokes for days.... eternities.
im almost at the end of this thing but gosh i could go on forever. and You'd be worthy still. praise leaves me breathless. mindless. if not for this body of death....I would go on adoring you, God. if not for this temporal frame... I would forget sleep. but here i sit. In the tired messy peace. and that'll have to do for now.... until glory takes over. You just wait though.... I'll show You Potter... i'll show You praise You deserve... but now it would just be zeal. because the truth is... only You give me strength to lift a voice or a hand. only You give me might to give to You. What in the world Lord? I guess that's just it. You're so out of this world. so other than. reason fails. words fail. everything fails to speak You.
I guess I should retire now. Pinkie is tired from all of the reaching and its a wee hour. You're incredible You know that? I can only ask that you give me a dream so we can keep this going.... this adoration. wow. this really is all up to you isn't it. I can't even will myself to praise You in sleep. that too lies in Your hands. cause you're holding the globe.... so my digging wouldn't have worked anyway huh? I guess all I can do is abide here. and let You let me praise You.
love you more than words. more than milk from the farm. and no one even really gets that but You.
See you at the back door,
Julie Eileen
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
"Lets go for a drive Jack"
I went to Target today. To get TWO things. Neither of them were clothing items. I've been striving to simplify my life and needed to make sure that I did NOT get clothes.....but the craziest thing happened: as the sliding doors opened, somebody grabbed me, picked me up, and threw me clear across the store to the clothing department and I was like, "Hey! That was SUPER rude!" I kept yelling at them... ya know, saying how you can't just do stuff like that to people....(as I picked up some really cute pants and a few shirts.) I mean that's how it is right... you walk in with fierce resolve... and then "someone" screws it up... or you screw it up :-/ ....but I didn't! I didn't end up wasting money on clothes I don't need. I looked at the pile in my hand and thought, "what the crap am I doing!?" Absolutely nothing in my hand was a necessity (and sadly...I probably have similar varieties of all of it in my closet already) ...so I put every last item back.... and as I walked away, I gave a defiant look of strength to the sucker who had thrown me over there in the first place...
When I finally got the things I needed, on my way back up to the front of the store to pay, I fist bumped the clothes on the rack ...ya know, to show that we can be civil even if we can't be friends...
As I got in line, the Cashier was having a conversation with the Customer in front of me, which she then transferred to me. She was telling me that she'd always been a "Daddy's girl," but had lost her Father in 2003.... that he'd given her his car and now- every time she gets in it to go somewhere- she says, "Let's go for a drive Jack." Who was this woman who shared such pearls with passersby who, soon before this moment, had so shallowly been thinking only of clothing? Her vulnerability was refreshing and it warmed me. She had kind, sad eyes and I smiled at her and expressed my sorrow that she had lost her Daddy- to which she responded that her Mother had died of cancer and she had lost her sister too. Checkout was over. The next person had taken my place and was geared up and ready for transaction.....of money, not conversation... but the Cashier and I were still interacting and as I went to take the receipt, she placed her hand on mine and said, "Thank you honey." I felt helpless...and rushed. I felt sad that we are so often rushed out of connecting, even just for a few moments, with another human being. The truth? My people-pleasing of the hurried Customer behind me might have snuffed out a greater response... that the Cashier was worthy of. It's not like I even know what I should have or could have done differently, the moment just didn't feel adequate... and it just got me thinking. What are we in such a hurry for? What is more important than the moment we are in? Another thing about it hit me too... the ugly thought I had that the lady just might share this kind of thing with every customer. That maybe she is just, "needy." Maybe so....but who isn't? I just wonder how much of the rhythm of our day is created by our lack of ability to hear a different beat? Unfortunately, a lot of times, we tend to shame or ridicule those who march to the beat of a different drummer in life. Brave souls who would actually take a moment to engage with the homeless man... or sit and talk with the odd person on the bench at the park. I thought about how much of my energy is expended on the internal chaos that acts as a distraction to the beauty offered in the surrounding world.
Took a walk with Mom this evening. My lovely, steady, practical Momma (who I have never actually called, "Momma..." but it felt poetic in the sentence ;-) I've cherished the times with her- especially lately. If I haven't told you that out loud, Mom, I hope you read this and know it now. A bird flew in front of us and my Mom commented on how pretty it was. Normally, our walks aren't like this....normally Mom is staring at the concrete sidewalk and speed walking....while I use my breath to keep up and to remind her to slow the pace....about every five minutes :-) But today was a different walk and Mom noticed the bird. I told her about some specific people that I know who always just seem to take a moment to notice things...like birds. I told Mom about Janet- who goes with her husband yearly to upstate NY and they bird watch. She is a connoisseur... seriously. She knows every tweet distinctively and it always amazes me. She could have invented twitter... ;-)
My friend Kathy is also a moment snatcher. We will be walking along the canal trail and she will extend her arm in front of me, as to motion a pause- as she gets her phone's camera ready to capture something.... and then my eyes are opened to the flock of geese that are taking flight right before us by the hundreds it seems.... how could I have missed that before!? Or there are many times that she will stop, mid-sentence, to gush over a dog that's passing or to smell a daffodil. It never fails to bring dimples to my face :-) I adore that quality in people. As we walked this same trail, my friend Haley made a comment that, I think, sums up what snatching a moment has the ability to be. She was talking about all of the plants around us.... and how it was amazing what God created. When I looked around to see what she was specifically referring to, I noticed how they were so crowded and wildly reaching upward...in a manner of praise it seemed. The world is full of beauty because God is beautiful. We sometimes don't see the beauty in the world because we fail to take the moment. Maybe we miss it in Him too for the same reason?
Jesus was the ultimate moment snatcher....that's probably why I love it when I hear that note played in so many people that I know. I'm thankful for those who call attention to the precious things that surround us. It is an evident light of the God that's within us.....and greater is He.
Much Love,
Jul-bird
When I finally got the things I needed, on my way back up to the front of the store to pay, I fist bumped the clothes on the rack ...ya know, to show that we can be civil even if we can't be friends...
As I got in line, the Cashier was having a conversation with the Customer in front of me, which she then transferred to me. She was telling me that she'd always been a "Daddy's girl," but had lost her Father in 2003.... that he'd given her his car and now- every time she gets in it to go somewhere- she says, "Let's go for a drive Jack." Who was this woman who shared such pearls with passersby who, soon before this moment, had so shallowly been thinking only of clothing? Her vulnerability was refreshing and it warmed me. She had kind, sad eyes and I smiled at her and expressed my sorrow that she had lost her Daddy- to which she responded that her Mother had died of cancer and she had lost her sister too. Checkout was over. The next person had taken my place and was geared up and ready for transaction.....of money, not conversation... but the Cashier and I were still interacting and as I went to take the receipt, she placed her hand on mine and said, "Thank you honey." I felt helpless...and rushed. I felt sad that we are so often rushed out of connecting, even just for a few moments, with another human being. The truth? My people-pleasing of the hurried Customer behind me might have snuffed out a greater response... that the Cashier was worthy of. It's not like I even know what I should have or could have done differently, the moment just didn't feel adequate... and it just got me thinking. What are we in such a hurry for? What is more important than the moment we are in? Another thing about it hit me too... the ugly thought I had that the lady just might share this kind of thing with every customer. That maybe she is just, "needy." Maybe so....but who isn't? I just wonder how much of the rhythm of our day is created by our lack of ability to hear a different beat? Unfortunately, a lot of times, we tend to shame or ridicule those who march to the beat of a different drummer in life. Brave souls who would actually take a moment to engage with the homeless man... or sit and talk with the odd person on the bench at the park. I thought about how much of my energy is expended on the internal chaos that acts as a distraction to the beauty offered in the surrounding world.
Took a walk with Mom this evening. My lovely, steady, practical Momma (who I have never actually called, "Momma..." but it felt poetic in the sentence ;-) I've cherished the times with her- especially lately. If I haven't told you that out loud, Mom, I hope you read this and know it now. A bird flew in front of us and my Mom commented on how pretty it was. Normally, our walks aren't like this....normally Mom is staring at the concrete sidewalk and speed walking....while I use my breath to keep up and to remind her to slow the pace....about every five minutes :-) But today was a different walk and Mom noticed the bird. I told her about some specific people that I know who always just seem to take a moment to notice things...like birds. I told Mom about Janet- who goes with her husband yearly to upstate NY and they bird watch. She is a connoisseur... seriously. She knows every tweet distinctively and it always amazes me. She could have invented twitter... ;-)
My friend Kathy is also a moment snatcher. We will be walking along the canal trail and she will extend her arm in front of me, as to motion a pause- as she gets her phone's camera ready to capture something.... and then my eyes are opened to the flock of geese that are taking flight right before us by the hundreds it seems.... how could I have missed that before!? Or there are many times that she will stop, mid-sentence, to gush over a dog that's passing or to smell a daffodil. It never fails to bring dimples to my face :-) I adore that quality in people. As we walked this same trail, my friend Haley made a comment that, I think, sums up what snatching a moment has the ability to be. She was talking about all of the plants around us.... and how it was amazing what God created. When I looked around to see what she was specifically referring to, I noticed how they were so crowded and wildly reaching upward...in a manner of praise it seemed. The world is full of beauty because God is beautiful. We sometimes don't see the beauty in the world because we fail to take the moment. Maybe we miss it in Him too for the same reason?
Jesus was the ultimate moment snatcher....that's probably why I love it when I hear that note played in so many people that I know. I'm thankful for those who call attention to the precious things that surround us. It is an evident light of the God that's within us.....and greater is He.
Much Love,
Jul-bird
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Keepin' the love on
A few months ago, my friend Christine introduced me to the idea of, "keepin' the love on." The thought behind the phrase is: not to withhold love toward those around you, no matter what you may be feeling or the state of your own heart. It can be so easy to turn the love off in response to the circumstantial lows of everyday fallen living, but real love "keeps the light on for ya..." like Motel 6... ;-)
I was reminded of this concept the other day as I realized just how much I fail to, in fact, keep it on.
Love, (True affection for God and Man), rises to take its place above faith and hope as the greatest among these. However, love is probably the most overused word, whose true meaning has been compromised more than that of any other.
Love... actual love.... like the bearing up under all things kind of love, is rare to witness upon the earth.... yet it is the very example that was portrayed when God's son stepped onto the planet, living 33 years in human skin to display heaven's splendor for us who were made from the dirt. Love is to be our greatest lesson if we would surrender ourselves to its teaching. It is so costly though.... that's the usual deal, right? The worthy things are costly, otherwise: everyone would be doing them...
Man, some things in the Word can seem really broad and hard to understand... churches split over foggy doctrines and people part over disagreements about the seemingly gray areas of gospel living... many things are just so difficult to come to truth about. What is crazy about all of this though... is that we forfeit huge opportunities to learn love (the greatest thing... the one thing that we can take with us into eternity)... and we choose the opinions and thoughts of our own finite brains over the chance to discover how to love our neighbor.
True Love is easy to distinguish because it goes against the grain and strikes an un-strummed chord within us. Like Salmon do, love swims upstream and beckons the attention of the schools who are swimming the other direction as they go with the flow. I sometimes wonder how this story might have panned out differently if Adam would have laid His life down for Eve and, "taken the fall," for her instead of blaming her for the whole apple deal.... would that have been enough love to cover a multitude of sins? I guess we'll never know... because Adam didn't do that, Jesus did. He took the fall for all of us. He, who did no wrong, took on our wrong... so that we could be made right.... amazing.
The Word became flesh and dwelt among us. That sentence alone should evoke something on the inside of us who believe. However, it somehow becomes so easy to remain unmoved by such miraculous wonders... yet Tom Cruise can arouse our adventurous side and Julia Roberts can bring us to tears while we eat popcorn and drink soda and leave a movie theater... changed? Meanwhile... God wrote and walked out an unbelievably adventurous and miraculous story... and put us smack dab in the middle of it... and we're bored...
Maybe our hearts are a little hard? Maybe we've let our outward circumstances dictate our inward stance? We lose our faith because the deaf guy that we prayed for still can't hear.... we feel hurt by the church, and life, and people, so we clam up and withhold love and hurt more people.... and all the while, we came into this whole relationship inspired to love when we understood that He first loved us... We were love struck by the man on the cross who... while we were yet sinning.... laid down His life for us.... and greater love has no one than this... that a man would lay His life down for His friends. God became a man and walked around on the very dirt that He once blew breath into to create the first of our kind... and then the Father allowed that dirt to crush His Son. It is too much to consider.... and Tom Cruise could never do it justice on the big screen.
The divine will of God will come to pass... and then prophecy will be no longer.....tongues will cease.... knowledge will be superseded by Truth..... and all that will be left to posses is love. What if we laid it all down for the sake of learning love instead of trying to strive to gain what we can't take with us anyway? The other day I was at my Grandparent's house and my (eighty-something years young) Pop-Pop couldn't find where he had put his new ipad that he'd gotten as a present. He was really anxious about it and I said, "Pop-Pop, don't let it stress you out.... you can't take it with you when you go anyway." His response was so witty... and true. He said, "Yea, you're right Jul... you never see a U-Haul following a hearse to the graveyard..." :-)
I'm not under the false impression that loving unconditionally is easy.... or that I've ever even really been successful at it for more than like 5 minutes... haha... I'm not saying that keepin' the love on when you don't even feel loved will just be all warm and fuzzy.... it probably won't.... but love does not demand its own way. I believe it is worth it though. The worthy things are always costly... and if this life is all about learning love and knowing God... then when it's all said and done, we will count everything else as dung anyway compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus.
With love,
Julie
I was reminded of this concept the other day as I realized just how much I fail to, in fact, keep it on.
Love, (True affection for God and Man), rises to take its place above faith and hope as the greatest among these. However, love is probably the most overused word, whose true meaning has been compromised more than that of any other.
Love... actual love.... like the bearing up under all things kind of love, is rare to witness upon the earth.... yet it is the very example that was portrayed when God's son stepped onto the planet, living 33 years in human skin to display heaven's splendor for us who were made from the dirt. Love is to be our greatest lesson if we would surrender ourselves to its teaching. It is so costly though.... that's the usual deal, right? The worthy things are costly, otherwise: everyone would be doing them...
Man, some things in the Word can seem really broad and hard to understand... churches split over foggy doctrines and people part over disagreements about the seemingly gray areas of gospel living... many things are just so difficult to come to truth about. What is crazy about all of this though... is that we forfeit huge opportunities to learn love (the greatest thing... the one thing that we can take with us into eternity)... and we choose the opinions and thoughts of our own finite brains over the chance to discover how to love our neighbor.
True Love is easy to distinguish because it goes against the grain and strikes an un-strummed chord within us. Like Salmon do, love swims upstream and beckons the attention of the schools who are swimming the other direction as they go with the flow. I sometimes wonder how this story might have panned out differently if Adam would have laid His life down for Eve and, "taken the fall," for her instead of blaming her for the whole apple deal.... would that have been enough love to cover a multitude of sins? I guess we'll never know... because Adam didn't do that, Jesus did. He took the fall for all of us. He, who did no wrong, took on our wrong... so that we could be made right.... amazing.
The Word became flesh and dwelt among us. That sentence alone should evoke something on the inside of us who believe. However, it somehow becomes so easy to remain unmoved by such miraculous wonders... yet Tom Cruise can arouse our adventurous side and Julia Roberts can bring us to tears while we eat popcorn and drink soda and leave a movie theater... changed? Meanwhile... God wrote and walked out an unbelievably adventurous and miraculous story... and put us smack dab in the middle of it... and we're bored...
Maybe our hearts are a little hard? Maybe we've let our outward circumstances dictate our inward stance? We lose our faith because the deaf guy that we prayed for still can't hear.... we feel hurt by the church, and life, and people, so we clam up and withhold love and hurt more people.... and all the while, we came into this whole relationship inspired to love when we understood that He first loved us... We were love struck by the man on the cross who... while we were yet sinning.... laid down His life for us.... and greater love has no one than this... that a man would lay His life down for His friends. God became a man and walked around on the very dirt that He once blew breath into to create the first of our kind... and then the Father allowed that dirt to crush His Son. It is too much to consider.... and Tom Cruise could never do it justice on the big screen.
The divine will of God will come to pass... and then prophecy will be no longer.....tongues will cease.... knowledge will be superseded by Truth..... and all that will be left to posses is love. What if we laid it all down for the sake of learning love instead of trying to strive to gain what we can't take with us anyway? The other day I was at my Grandparent's house and my (eighty-something years young) Pop-Pop couldn't find where he had put his new ipad that he'd gotten as a present. He was really anxious about it and I said, "Pop-Pop, don't let it stress you out.... you can't take it with you when you go anyway." His response was so witty... and true. He said, "Yea, you're right Jul... you never see a U-Haul following a hearse to the graveyard..." :-)
I'm not under the false impression that loving unconditionally is easy.... or that I've ever even really been successful at it for more than like 5 minutes... haha... I'm not saying that keepin' the love on when you don't even feel loved will just be all warm and fuzzy.... it probably won't.... but love does not demand its own way. I believe it is worth it though. The worthy things are always costly... and if this life is all about learning love and knowing God... then when it's all said and done, we will count everything else as dung anyway compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus.
With love,
Julie
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Opposite Day
There have been more than a few times in my life when something difficult happened and I thought, "wow, Lord, I really didn't need that." My Dad actually said this to me recently and the thought took on a shouting echo in the hollow spaces of my head.
I've been thinking a lot about Character lately... about how we attain it... about the road it takes to posses it... and its not a walk in the park, but more like a walk in a sewage ditch.... not a bed of roses, but more like a blanket of thorns. Unfortunately, the path to Character has no shortcut and the ground is uneven. Its hard to keep your footing. Its painful. It tears your skin and draws blood.
The first stop on the journey?
Suffering. This part sucks... lets just be real. It doesn't last forever but its the stage where you go to sleep at night and wake up in the morning and as the light touches your eyes- revealing their first few blinks- your heart gets a signal from your brain that calls to remembrance the reality of your difficult season. I always hate that feeling. Sleep carries such sweet denial... and the moment when denial gets shoved out of the way by the abrupt sting of reality.... yea, that moment bites. This is when you wish the blinking had never started, but that instead, maybe your brain could have signaled your eyes first to tell them that today would be a good day to stay closed....but this is not how we were designed I guess. The light comes in, the signals are sent out, and that is that.
The only way to make our way through this part?
Perseverance. Well, perseverance and Oreos. Okay, no- just perseverance. Its the next natural progression. In this stage, you consider your choices. Do I stay in bed and beg for sleep's comforting anesthetic to return... or is it time to get up slowly, walk to the door, and allow your fingers to test their courage as they reach for the handle and turn...? We must give credit to the small decisions that we make in perseverance, because they do not go unnoticed by heaven. Someone may look at the tiny choices you make to advance forward in the fight and not recognize the victory because they cannot see the battle within. God sees the battle though. God made Himself well-acquainted with the battle of humanity when he chose to make His entrance into this life through the birth canal of a virgin girl. What? is that too intense? Well take it up with Him then... not me. Would you expect anything less though from a God/Man who would later choose to leave this life with sharp metal pegging Him to wood as a hammer pounds repeatedly? I'm not being dramatic... its just what happened. One cannot pay such a heavy price, carry such a burdensome load.... without excruciating pain and sacrifice... its simply not possible. So we persevere with the strength of the guy who did that instead of flexing our own wimpy biceps in a haughty attempt that is predestined to leave us face down on the floor before we even take the second step out of bed. This stage takes a really long time. None of this really comes to fruition over night, but perseverance is especially time consuming. Endurance is key and Gatorade just doesn't do the trick. Part of successful perseverance is to draw our energy from His well and not our own. I think its in this stage that our faith becomes real. Its no longer ethereal but you can now almost taste it.... you recognize that its becoming tangible.
So when the crap hits the fan we think, Wow I really didn't need that...but we did. we SO did. After I get over the immediate reaction (which is: "Oh really, James... consider it joy? Why don't I punch you in the face and you can show me all the joy you are considering!!)... I take a minute- and then I actually do consider it joy... because it means I'm on the road- I'm on the road to Character and I can't wait until perseverance finishes its work so that I may be mature and complete, lacking nothing. Because this is what its all about, right? Being sanctified into the character of Jesus? If its hard to look at it this way, just consider everyday to be "opposite day"....because basically that is what living out the gospel is.... one big opposite day. Someone strikes your cheek?... well, just give them the other too. Have an enemy?.... let your belly just fill up with love butterflies for them (yea that doesn't really happen... its more like swallowing knives to love them, but I guess just pretend the knives are butterflies?) Opposite Day.
The icing on the cake is that Character produces hope... but this hope is not like any other hope. No, this hope "does not disappoint." Its the only kind of hope that doesn't end in our shame for having believed in it in the first place. That sounds like music to my hope deferred ears :-)
I'll come in for a landing with a little wisdom from my husband, Graham Cooke (OK...he is not my husband, that was just a test to see if you are a faithful reader of my blog... if you are not, *see previous blog ;-) Graham says that it is stupid that we ask for the presence of God... because He is already here. What we should actually do is practice this presence... to "Practice the presence we believe is present." My idea of the best way to do this is to take every thought captive and body slam that sucka down to submit to the knowledge of God. Uh Uh Lie... I don't think so! It's Opposite Day Playah, so you can put me on trial and try to bring me down all day long and I'm just gonna consider it a big fat joy fest...
"...but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And this hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us" -Romans 5:3-5
So don't be afraid if life makes you take a stroll in a sewage ditch... and just go with it and curl on up to that fire with a thorny blanket... its good for your Character.
We were never promised that we would not suffer... but we do not suffer alone. We have a High Priest who can sympathize... in every way. He truly is so very faithful.
Trying to make every day Opposite Day,
~Mrs. Graham Cooke
P.S. Graham Cooke's actual wife, if you ever read my blogs... hopefully you have a sense of humor...
I've been thinking a lot about Character lately... about how we attain it... about the road it takes to posses it... and its not a walk in the park, but more like a walk in a sewage ditch.... not a bed of roses, but more like a blanket of thorns. Unfortunately, the path to Character has no shortcut and the ground is uneven. Its hard to keep your footing. Its painful. It tears your skin and draws blood.
The first stop on the journey?
Suffering. This part sucks... lets just be real. It doesn't last forever but its the stage where you go to sleep at night and wake up in the morning and as the light touches your eyes- revealing their first few blinks- your heart gets a signal from your brain that calls to remembrance the reality of your difficult season. I always hate that feeling. Sleep carries such sweet denial... and the moment when denial gets shoved out of the way by the abrupt sting of reality.... yea, that moment bites. This is when you wish the blinking had never started, but that instead, maybe your brain could have signaled your eyes first to tell them that today would be a good day to stay closed....but this is not how we were designed I guess. The light comes in, the signals are sent out, and that is that.
The only way to make our way through this part?
Perseverance. Well, perseverance and Oreos. Okay, no- just perseverance. Its the next natural progression. In this stage, you consider your choices. Do I stay in bed and beg for sleep's comforting anesthetic to return... or is it time to get up slowly, walk to the door, and allow your fingers to test their courage as they reach for the handle and turn...? We must give credit to the small decisions that we make in perseverance, because they do not go unnoticed by heaven. Someone may look at the tiny choices you make to advance forward in the fight and not recognize the victory because they cannot see the battle within. God sees the battle though. God made Himself well-acquainted with the battle of humanity when he chose to make His entrance into this life through the birth canal of a virgin girl. What? is that too intense? Well take it up with Him then... not me. Would you expect anything less though from a God/Man who would later choose to leave this life with sharp metal pegging Him to wood as a hammer pounds repeatedly? I'm not being dramatic... its just what happened. One cannot pay such a heavy price, carry such a burdensome load.... without excruciating pain and sacrifice... its simply not possible. So we persevere with the strength of the guy who did that instead of flexing our own wimpy biceps in a haughty attempt that is predestined to leave us face down on the floor before we even take the second step out of bed. This stage takes a really long time. None of this really comes to fruition over night, but perseverance is especially time consuming. Endurance is key and Gatorade just doesn't do the trick. Part of successful perseverance is to draw our energy from His well and not our own. I think its in this stage that our faith becomes real. Its no longer ethereal but you can now almost taste it.... you recognize that its becoming tangible.
So when the crap hits the fan we think, Wow I really didn't need that...but we did. we SO did. After I get over the immediate reaction (which is: "Oh really, James... consider it joy? Why don't I punch you in the face and you can show me all the joy you are considering!!)... I take a minute- and then I actually do consider it joy... because it means I'm on the road- I'm on the road to Character and I can't wait until perseverance finishes its work so that I may be mature and complete, lacking nothing. Because this is what its all about, right? Being sanctified into the character of Jesus? If its hard to look at it this way, just consider everyday to be "opposite day"....because basically that is what living out the gospel is.... one big opposite day. Someone strikes your cheek?... well, just give them the other too. Have an enemy?.... let your belly just fill up with love butterflies for them (yea that doesn't really happen... its more like swallowing knives to love them, but I guess just pretend the knives are butterflies?) Opposite Day.
The icing on the cake is that Character produces hope... but this hope is not like any other hope. No, this hope "does not disappoint." Its the only kind of hope that doesn't end in our shame for having believed in it in the first place. That sounds like music to my hope deferred ears :-)
I'll come in for a landing with a little wisdom from my husband, Graham Cooke (OK...he is not my husband, that was just a test to see if you are a faithful reader of my blog... if you are not, *see previous blog ;-) Graham says that it is stupid that we ask for the presence of God... because He is already here. What we should actually do is practice this presence... to "Practice the presence we believe is present." My idea of the best way to do this is to take every thought captive and body slam that sucka down to submit to the knowledge of God. Uh Uh Lie... I don't think so! It's Opposite Day Playah, so you can put me on trial and try to bring me down all day long and I'm just gonna consider it a big fat joy fest...
"...but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And this hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us" -Romans 5:3-5
So don't be afraid if life makes you take a stroll in a sewage ditch... and just go with it and curl on up to that fire with a thorny blanket... its good for your Character.
We were never promised that we would not suffer... but we do not suffer alone. We have a High Priest who can sympathize... in every way. He truly is so very faithful.
Trying to make every day Opposite Day,
~Mrs. Graham Cooke
P.S. Graham Cooke's actual wife, if you ever read my blogs... hopefully you have a sense of humor...
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Julie "I lean" Doggendorf
I've been listening to a guy named Graham Cooke because he is basically my friend Kathy's other husband... I mean he's not reeeeaaaally, and she might be mad that I said that... but it shows her appreciation for what he has to say... and what kind of man he is. My friend Kathy is happily married... to one man... she is not a sister-wife... don't worry. She has always told me about Graham Cooke and she let me borrow a teaching of his.... way too long ago to admit, and I am just now listening to it... and now he is my husband too... no, but I now understand her esteem :-)
I love to listen to people speak of Jesus. I don't just like sermons all the time, but I like when people communicate Jesus as they see Him through their eyes... and in truth of course.
There is something so refreshing about being renewed with the love of God. To remember such a simple truth... that He loves us. Its an everyday thought but a rare belief. I taste it all the time but I can't always drink it down. Sometimes though, I get it for a second and I cry. I love to cry because of love.
Sometimes I feel like old cheese... gross I know... I do though sometimes, like I've been aged by the cares of this shadow life... its only a breath.... here and gone in a moment.... yet it has great capabilities to wound us. I wish I could remember, say like on a Tuesday at 3pm while in the grocery store... that life is so short. That no matter what comes our way in the shadow, there is the hope of eternity just waiting to be pondered. Maybe that would make me stop for a moment amongst the one million cereal choices and remember Jesus. I want to remember in the moments that feel meaningless- that there is actually so much to glean because God did an amazing thing and that gives meaning to even the moments that are hidden in the isles of mundane grocery shopping. I want to remember in the moments where conscious thoughts seem to evaporate from our minds as we turn down the same streets in our cars like robots in the routine of our everyday.... that this moment is actually extraordinary.... because God did an extraordinary thing. But oh how easily we forget... and we let the cereal isle overtake us; our routine leaves us thoughtless... and all of these things muddy the moments that have the potential to be crystal clear snippets of praise. Sure, life is not always adventurous, and sometimes the event of the day is deciding between Captain Crunch and Cocoa Pebbles, but we are actually, simultaneously seated with Christ in heavenly places too... we just don't grasp it... and its hard to grasp it under the florescent light of the grocery store while Cinnamon Toast Crunch is flirting with your heart. I want to spend my moments in grace and truth... whether in the grocery store or deep in worship. I want to age well with God. Some things get better with age.... like wine.... and I'd like to be wine instead of old cheese. Could I be wine Lord? Let every wrinkle come with wisdom please.... 'cause if not, then I will just be stinky, old cheese. When my hair goes gray and crows land their feet on the outer corners of my eyes.... let it not be for naught Lord, but if it must come, let it be accompanied by the wisdom of Solomon.
I'm glad I'm not 17. I mean... 28 can be really hard sometimes... but I'm not 17. I remember 17. So epic and gut-wrenching. The thought of getting older is avoided and believed to be tragic in our culture... and I admit I hate it too sometimes, but the beautiful wisdom that comes with age and another year of life-lived is priceless. Something that would have absolutely killed me at 17 is only a bump in the road these days. Imagine when I'm 70... sigh.. I'll have this life thing in the bag... no problem. I know that's probably not true... but I won't be 28... and I'll remember 28 and think, "I'm glad I'm not 28..." The actual truth is that I'm not all that much greater than I was at 17, but I've learned to lean a little harder. With every passing year, I find that I'm leaning just a little more on Jesus as life throws me curves and twists and sometimes punches me in the face. I get tired and can't stand up as straight as I did before, but its a lovely thing to know I can lean..... that He can take the weight of some of these burdens I'm toting around. Graham Cooke says the cross is light. We are to take on His yoke... because it is light and easy. How nice. Why do we make it seem so heavy? He did all of the heavy lifting for us and now our burden is light. He took in the milk and all of the soda cans out of the car from the grocery trip and left us only the chips to carry. So nice. I hate taking in groceries from the car... hate it so much, but I don't mind carrying the airy bag of chips.... I can handle that. For real though, life is too short to take on burdens that have already been carried and the moments are too few to waste.
Thank you God... for being extraordinary... and for doing extraordinary things. You are what makes life worth living. You are more than reason enough to lift our gaze and You are worth every snippet of our praise. Thanks for your shoulder to lean on.... and thanks for carrying in the milk.
Lovingly,
Julie Eileen
I love to listen to people speak of Jesus. I don't just like sermons all the time, but I like when people communicate Jesus as they see Him through their eyes... and in truth of course.
There is something so refreshing about being renewed with the love of God. To remember such a simple truth... that He loves us. Its an everyday thought but a rare belief. I taste it all the time but I can't always drink it down. Sometimes though, I get it for a second and I cry. I love to cry because of love.
Sometimes I feel like old cheese... gross I know... I do though sometimes, like I've been aged by the cares of this shadow life... its only a breath.... here and gone in a moment.... yet it has great capabilities to wound us. I wish I could remember, say like on a Tuesday at 3pm while in the grocery store... that life is so short. That no matter what comes our way in the shadow, there is the hope of eternity just waiting to be pondered. Maybe that would make me stop for a moment amongst the one million cereal choices and remember Jesus. I want to remember in the moments that feel meaningless- that there is actually so much to glean because God did an amazing thing and that gives meaning to even the moments that are hidden in the isles of mundane grocery shopping. I want to remember in the moments where conscious thoughts seem to evaporate from our minds as we turn down the same streets in our cars like robots in the routine of our everyday.... that this moment is actually extraordinary.... because God did an extraordinary thing. But oh how easily we forget... and we let the cereal isle overtake us; our routine leaves us thoughtless... and all of these things muddy the moments that have the potential to be crystal clear snippets of praise. Sure, life is not always adventurous, and sometimes the event of the day is deciding between Captain Crunch and Cocoa Pebbles, but we are actually, simultaneously seated with Christ in heavenly places too... we just don't grasp it... and its hard to grasp it under the florescent light of the grocery store while Cinnamon Toast Crunch is flirting with your heart. I want to spend my moments in grace and truth... whether in the grocery store or deep in worship. I want to age well with God. Some things get better with age.... like wine.... and I'd like to be wine instead of old cheese. Could I be wine Lord? Let every wrinkle come with wisdom please.... 'cause if not, then I will just be stinky, old cheese. When my hair goes gray and crows land their feet on the outer corners of my eyes.... let it not be for naught Lord, but if it must come, let it be accompanied by the wisdom of Solomon.
I'm glad I'm not 17. I mean... 28 can be really hard sometimes... but I'm not 17. I remember 17. So epic and gut-wrenching. The thought of getting older is avoided and believed to be tragic in our culture... and I admit I hate it too sometimes, but the beautiful wisdom that comes with age and another year of life-lived is priceless. Something that would have absolutely killed me at 17 is only a bump in the road these days. Imagine when I'm 70... sigh.. I'll have this life thing in the bag... no problem. I know that's probably not true... but I won't be 28... and I'll remember 28 and think, "I'm glad I'm not 28..." The actual truth is that I'm not all that much greater than I was at 17, but I've learned to lean a little harder. With every passing year, I find that I'm leaning just a little more on Jesus as life throws me curves and twists and sometimes punches me in the face. I get tired and can't stand up as straight as I did before, but its a lovely thing to know I can lean..... that He can take the weight of some of these burdens I'm toting around. Graham Cooke says the cross is light. We are to take on His yoke... because it is light and easy. How nice. Why do we make it seem so heavy? He did all of the heavy lifting for us and now our burden is light. He took in the milk and all of the soda cans out of the car from the grocery trip and left us only the chips to carry. So nice. I hate taking in groceries from the car... hate it so much, but I don't mind carrying the airy bag of chips.... I can handle that. For real though, life is too short to take on burdens that have already been carried and the moments are too few to waste.
Thank you God... for being extraordinary... and for doing extraordinary things. You are what makes life worth living. You are more than reason enough to lift our gaze and You are worth every snippet of our praise. Thanks for your shoulder to lean on.... and thanks for carrying in the milk.
Lovingly,
Julie Eileen
Thursday, March 7, 2013
the God who wrestles
Growing up with three older brothers, I became well acquainted with wrestling. When we were kids, it was the height of the (fake) pro wrestling phenomenon... the glory days of Hulk Hogan, Macho Man Randy Savage, and "Diamond cutter"Dallas Page.... wow, and I'm slightly embarrassed that I remember them so clearly...hah
Those of you who were avid fans during that time will probably remember, "Sting." He was always in black and his symbol was a scorpion. I remember in middle school, I wore one of my brother's black Sting shirts to school with a huge white scorpion on the front.... hardcore.... I was pretty much the bravest, coolest chick at Fayette Middle that day ;-)
So I was thinking about how Jacob wrestled with God... I mean I'm sure it was a little different.... like God probably didn't rip his shirt like Hogan and slam a steal chair onto Jacob's head for crowd appeal.... but He totally did leave him limping with a wrenched hip.
We mustn't test the Lord our God.... but I guess we can sure as heck wrestle with Him. There is something that pleases the heart of God when we refuse to give up, like Jacob did, "until He blesses us." I think its faith- I mean faith does please God, and Jacob had to have faith that the struggle would produce a blessing when he made the decision that he wasn't going to let go. God says that He blessed Jacob because he "struggled with God and with humans and has overcome." Such bravery- to fight til' you overcome! I'd like to be so brave...
The only thing is, I was never a good wrestler.... My version would be to just cling to my brother's legs to try and stop them from progressing in the fight.... to try to impair the obvious advantage they had in strength and height! And I haven't come up with any creative moves since then.... That's where I am now- I've wrapped myself around the shins of the King because I gotta believe He will bless me. I gotta believe I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. I'm not looking for Him to bless me with a Jag or a Mercedes, or some high-end shoes made from crocodile skins.... I just want Him to bless me with His Presence. Like Moses said before the exodus, "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here." Thats how I feel. I want Him to go before me; to take me by the hand and lead me- to hem me in before and behind. I want His will- and if I have to put on my brother's old Sting shirt and wrestle to get it- then so be it. I don't even know what it is to be honest- I don't know what His will is for my life. I do know this though, He has plans to prosper us... to give us a hope and a future... and while I don't always know the next step of faith to take in His will, I do know that the plan of the enemy is evident.... as I cling to the Lord, the enemy latches on to my legs... trying to trip me up and steal the grip I have on the Almighty. I'm furiously shaking him off though- because nothing is worth me loosing this grip I have on Jesus. The sight of His face is all I will need, to know that this has all been... more than worth the struggle.
Blessed are those whose help is in the God of Jacob.... the God who wrestles. Blessed are those who hope in Him... He remains Faithful forever.
Those of you who were avid fans during that time will probably remember, "Sting." He was always in black and his symbol was a scorpion. I remember in middle school, I wore one of my brother's black Sting shirts to school with a huge white scorpion on the front.... hardcore.... I was pretty much the bravest, coolest chick at Fayette Middle that day ;-)
So I was thinking about how Jacob wrestled with God... I mean I'm sure it was a little different.... like God probably didn't rip his shirt like Hogan and slam a steal chair onto Jacob's head for crowd appeal.... but He totally did leave him limping with a wrenched hip.
We mustn't test the Lord our God.... but I guess we can sure as heck wrestle with Him. There is something that pleases the heart of God when we refuse to give up, like Jacob did, "until He blesses us." I think its faith- I mean faith does please God, and Jacob had to have faith that the struggle would produce a blessing when he made the decision that he wasn't going to let go. God says that He blessed Jacob because he "struggled with God and with humans and has overcome." Such bravery- to fight til' you overcome! I'd like to be so brave...
The only thing is, I was never a good wrestler.... My version would be to just cling to my brother's legs to try and stop them from progressing in the fight.... to try to impair the obvious advantage they had in strength and height! And I haven't come up with any creative moves since then.... That's where I am now- I've wrapped myself around the shins of the King because I gotta believe He will bless me. I gotta believe I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. I'm not looking for Him to bless me with a Jag or a Mercedes, or some high-end shoes made from crocodile skins.... I just want Him to bless me with His Presence. Like Moses said before the exodus, "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here." Thats how I feel. I want Him to go before me; to take me by the hand and lead me- to hem me in before and behind. I want His will- and if I have to put on my brother's old Sting shirt and wrestle to get it- then so be it. I don't even know what it is to be honest- I don't know what His will is for my life. I do know this though, He has plans to prosper us... to give us a hope and a future... and while I don't always know the next step of faith to take in His will, I do know that the plan of the enemy is evident.... as I cling to the Lord, the enemy latches on to my legs... trying to trip me up and steal the grip I have on the Almighty. I'm furiously shaking him off though- because nothing is worth me loosing this grip I have on Jesus. The sight of His face is all I will need, to know that this has all been... more than worth the struggle.
Blessed are those whose help is in the God of Jacob.... the God who wrestles. Blessed are those who hope in Him... He remains Faithful forever.
With love and sweet wrestling moves,
Julie
Friday, February 22, 2013
the dimmer switch, Abbey, and the Native Americans
If you know me well, you've probably heard me quote this as an answer when answers just won't come, "We see as in a mirror, dimly"
We do... its true. One day, though, we won't have to squint by candlelight anymore, but with clarity, all things will be revealed. (...chuckle...) It makes me think of the other night in the kitchen, the lights were set at a "mood" level as my (extremely practical) Mother proclaimed, "wow this is an annoying level of light isn't it!?" It was like juuuust bright enough to get around without tripping, but dim enough to cause early- onset forehead wrinkles because of the squint-fest. I'm all about dim lighting... but she's right... it can totally be annoying, especially at times when clarity is required. Sure its nice to sometimes sit down to a meal out at a restaurant with an ambiance of candlelight... but who wants to like... do their taxes in this kind of lighting... or like try to find their car keys? Its frustrating!
And so it is with life... its like things are constantly set on the dang dimmer switch... and all while I'm trying to see clearly to figure out my (ahem) destiny here, LORD. No matter how hard I try to "CLAP ON(clap clap) CLAP OFF (clap clap)"... things just ain't gettin' any brighter. Its cool how that book, The Purpose Driven Life, awakened a lot of people to the idea that maybe there is a reason we are all here... that we are not just wandering aimlessly through a dimly lit corn maze of an existence! At the same time though, I sometimes feel like we have now been sent on a quest where purpose must be found in every tiny matter. Especially for purpose-seekers like myself. I want to live a life on purpose, but sometimes it can seem like we are trying to know the end from the beginning... because we are afraid to just... trust. Sometimes I try to make myself believe that when I leave the house late because I can't find my keys or something.... it must be because God is protecting me by helping me avoid an accident or something... usually though, I just thoughtlessly laid my keys somewhere and now I can't find them. We don't know every thing's purpose yet. This is the point of the dim lighting though, right? That we might rely on Someone... who has a better view... to help lead us along.
My girlfriends and I just had to say goodbye to our dear friend, Abbey, this morning because she is moving to Texas. There are so few twenty-somethings in our area that we are not shy about snatching one up when they find themselves somehow displaced in our town ;-) Abbey is one of those girls who just fit into our group of friends so naturally. We only got to really know her for about 6 months, but she was like the cheese added to our broccoli chicken casserole or something- she rounded out the flavor and we are going to miss her so much. She was newly married and lived in the northeast for 4 months without really having a community of friends... and one could ask a lot of "why's" here. Why would the Lord bring her here and then take her away so quickly? Why (when me and my friends were waiting like Piranhas as we prayed for community) didn't we meet her sooner?... so we could've had 10 months instead of only 6?.... None of it makes sense. All we can do is be thankful for the gift of time we were blessed to have with her, love her, and let her go into this new season that God is leading her into. There is not really anything in this life that we can hold onto, we can only hold out our hands to receive a gift that the Lord wants to give, and then leave our hands open to offer it right back to Him to let Him freely do with it what He desires. It's not a game that He's playing with us. He just sees the completed picture and we are doing this 1,000 piece puzzle by the light of the dimmer switch...
I heard this quote one time in reference to what we can do with all of the unknowns - "Lord, I submit this to the mystery of Your will." I love that- its a good one to keep in the back pocket to snack on in times of confusion.
We see as in a mirror, dimly... but someday we will see clearly. I so often just wish the Lord would turn the lights up already. Instead though... there is trust that is being built. When I don't have the capability of having the overhead lighting that He has, I must learn to take Him at His word. It's like I'm being herded along by a good Shepherd or something... His rod and His staff... they comfort me.
This isn't a new struggle, eh? I mean... remember: hey... eat this apple (or more accurately, some other kind of exotic garden of Eden fruit variety... surely organic ;-) Eat this... and it will all make sense... you'll know it all... and you'll understand it all. Funny how the oldest lie remains to be the toughest to fight off, huh? This lie should've been on that show Myth Busters a long time ago... but we are all still getting Punked by it...
The Good news? The Lord is like the Native Americans. uh... okay? Yea. You know how you learned in school as a kid, that the Native Americans- when they had hunted and caught an animal- they used every part of it... nothing went to waste. As does our Maker... use everything. No test or trial or unknown will go to waste, but instead can and will be used for His glory.
Longing for the day when we see clearly. When we know as we are fully known and love as we are fully loved.
Much love,
Julie
We do... its true. One day, though, we won't have to squint by candlelight anymore, but with clarity, all things will be revealed. (...chuckle...) It makes me think of the other night in the kitchen, the lights were set at a "mood" level as my (extremely practical) Mother proclaimed, "wow this is an annoying level of light isn't it!?" It was like juuuust bright enough to get around without tripping, but dim enough to cause early- onset forehead wrinkles because of the squint-fest. I'm all about dim lighting... but she's right... it can totally be annoying, especially at times when clarity is required. Sure its nice to sometimes sit down to a meal out at a restaurant with an ambiance of candlelight... but who wants to like... do their taxes in this kind of lighting... or like try to find their car keys? Its frustrating!
And so it is with life... its like things are constantly set on the dang dimmer switch... and all while I'm trying to see clearly to figure out my (ahem) destiny here, LORD. No matter how hard I try to "CLAP ON(clap clap) CLAP OFF (clap clap)"... things just ain't gettin' any brighter. Its cool how that book, The Purpose Driven Life, awakened a lot of people to the idea that maybe there is a reason we are all here... that we are not just wandering aimlessly through a dimly lit corn maze of an existence! At the same time though, I sometimes feel like we have now been sent on a quest where purpose must be found in every tiny matter. Especially for purpose-seekers like myself. I want to live a life on purpose, but sometimes it can seem like we are trying to know the end from the beginning... because we are afraid to just... trust. Sometimes I try to make myself believe that when I leave the house late because I can't find my keys or something.... it must be because God is protecting me by helping me avoid an accident or something... usually though, I just thoughtlessly laid my keys somewhere and now I can't find them. We don't know every thing's purpose yet. This is the point of the dim lighting though, right? That we might rely on Someone... who has a better view... to help lead us along.
My girlfriends and I just had to say goodbye to our dear friend, Abbey, this morning because she is moving to Texas. There are so few twenty-somethings in our area that we are not shy about snatching one up when they find themselves somehow displaced in our town ;-) Abbey is one of those girls who just fit into our group of friends so naturally. We only got to really know her for about 6 months, but she was like the cheese added to our broccoli chicken casserole or something- she rounded out the flavor and we are going to miss her so much. She was newly married and lived in the northeast for 4 months without really having a community of friends... and one could ask a lot of "why's" here. Why would the Lord bring her here and then take her away so quickly? Why (when me and my friends were waiting like Piranhas as we prayed for community) didn't we meet her sooner?... so we could've had 10 months instead of only 6?.... None of it makes sense. All we can do is be thankful for the gift of time we were blessed to have with her, love her, and let her go into this new season that God is leading her into. There is not really anything in this life that we can hold onto, we can only hold out our hands to receive a gift that the Lord wants to give, and then leave our hands open to offer it right back to Him to let Him freely do with it what He desires. It's not a game that He's playing with us. He just sees the completed picture and we are doing this 1,000 piece puzzle by the light of the dimmer switch...
I heard this quote one time in reference to what we can do with all of the unknowns - "Lord, I submit this to the mystery of Your will." I love that- its a good one to keep in the back pocket to snack on in times of confusion.
We see as in a mirror, dimly... but someday we will see clearly. I so often just wish the Lord would turn the lights up already. Instead though... there is trust that is being built. When I don't have the capability of having the overhead lighting that He has, I must learn to take Him at His word. It's like I'm being herded along by a good Shepherd or something... His rod and His staff... they comfort me.
This isn't a new struggle, eh? I mean... remember: hey... eat this apple (or more accurately, some other kind of exotic garden of Eden fruit variety... surely organic ;-) Eat this... and it will all make sense... you'll know it all... and you'll understand it all. Funny how the oldest lie remains to be the toughest to fight off, huh? This lie should've been on that show Myth Busters a long time ago... but we are all still getting Punked by it...
The Good news? The Lord is like the Native Americans. uh... okay? Yea. You know how you learned in school as a kid, that the Native Americans- when they had hunted and caught an animal- they used every part of it... nothing went to waste. As does our Maker... use everything. No test or trial or unknown will go to waste, but instead can and will be used for His glory.
Longing for the day when we see clearly. When we know as we are fully known and love as we are fully loved.
Much love,
Julie
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